I'm starting to realize

just how much my opinions and feelings don't matter to anyone. I'm surrounded by faces but they are all empty. Will I ever find someone that can relate? Someday..

I keep having this dream in which I am in the middle of a crowded city street. I'm in the midst of crossing the street and while there are thousands of people walking by, filling the streets, in taxis, on bikes, in coffee shops....they are all empty faces. Certain figures stand out...they remind me of people from my past except their faces are blank. I'm not quite sure what this means but it's really starting to get old. I guess I've always felt like no one really understands who I really am. no one really gets what I'm feeling. No one ever gave me a chance to show them either though.

I really do believe that you have to lose yourself to find yourself again. I've made a mess of myself the past month or so...making really out of character decisions and having awkward feelings afterward. I've realized a lot these past few months and I'm really glad everything turned out how it did. It was much needed, in so many ways.


Walking in this world with billions of people and yet as I walk I've never felt more alone in my life. There has to be someone out there who feels the way I do. I just can't seem to find anyone who relates. I'm starting to think that I intimidate the new people I meet and scare them off. Friday night I was told I am intimidating....that's something new for me but I guess with my new attitude and view of life after the past few months I could come across that way. For the first time in my life I know what I want and I wont let anything get in my way....I guess I could see that as intimidating. That or I am just full of rejection because I am really just not interested in much of anything anyone has to say these days.

It's easy to act interested..
It's so much harder to actually be interested.

Can someone please hold my attention for more than ten minutes? It sucks being in conversation with someone and just completely losing interest within the first ten minutes.

I just want something new. Somewhere new. Someone new.

Not dating relationship wise but just as a friend. I have all I need in regards to a relationship I just wish I had a good, solid friendship to go along with it.

Everyone I've met recently and gotten close to will be gone before I know it. It sucks. :(

I just want to drop all of my responsibilities and run away for a while. Not run away from my problems or anything. Just get away and clear my head. Meet new people and gain new experiences. The thought of leaving everyone and everything behind just to find something new is thrilling. I want excitement. I want to be kept on the edge of my seat for once...

Please, keep me on my toes.....someone!

I'm tired of this boring routine I call my life. Give me something new, some excitement.