so pick me

choose me

LOVE ME

xanax

I'm cool because I snort lines of xanax off kitchen counters with a rolled up dollar bill....

what a fucking turn off, ew.

weiiiird !

Someone please tell me what you do when your best friend of 9 years suddnely confesses their love for you....

I am just at a loss for words...

I really don't know what to do with this one. I've never even thought twice about it. He's my best friend...

Pet Peeve

I think my biggest one is when people call in at work and pronounce a 0 as a o. There is a huge difference. Or when they use both when stating a claim or policy number. If you are going to say o atleast say o all throughout the number not alternate between 0 and o.

If you worked in insurance you would understand....it happens about 100 times a day.

ironically enough

looks like I'll be the one being the douche bag. haaa

after asking you what I did the other night after everything that had happened and hearing your thoughtful response, here I am....doing exactly what I asked you not to do to me.

Thank you for everything the other night, it was amazing to say the least. You are such a sweetheart. I'm sorry but this is just how it has to be, for a while at least.

EDIT!
ok this whole post is a lie. Well, not all of it but the majority.
almost getting jail time, an awkward night an entire day and 96 dollars later until I actually saw you. Well I think I went on quite an adventure for you, feel special. I wouldn't do it again though..<3

No regrets

Just Repeats ! <3 (:

Truth be told I'd do it over and over and over again. haha <3

p.s. Ferg, youz a good dude. Thanks for everything !


"because sometimes what you want is right in front of you, you just have to open up your eyes and see the bigger picture. <3"


ohh you can have my friends too, i'm done with all of you.

Dear Nicole,

STOP MAKING BAD DECISIONS !

Love,
self


edit;;;
My outlook on things is changing drastically as we speak.

slightly

bothered by your actions, not gonna lie. You really got me this time....



scum, bleh.


Just make all the promises you can never keep. You've always been good at that.

because there is always gonna be a 2nd chance

I've done a lot of thinking recently and well I've come to the conclusion that all the things I previously passed up becasue I didn't have the time or was "tied down" are all coming around again. It's funny how things turn out. I think this time I might actually give you the time of day. After all, everyone deserves at least one chance and this is my second chance to give you one. I'm excited to be quite honest. You showed me the time of my life and I just let you walk on by. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! haha I seem to ask myself that a lot lately. I'm looking forward to seeing you this weekend when you come home. (:

On another note:
Mike Graham has been gone a good five years now. I think I was maybe 15 the last time I saw him. No one gets me like that kid does. I miss him a lot. All the random late night talks and crazy "slumber parties" haha Some of my favorite memories are with that kid. It had been quite a while since we had spoken until last night. I really hope he can get the time off and come up to stay with me for a couple days. Talk about a blast from the past...



gaaah, I need more girl friends. ha Everyone I'm close with is a guy...and while that's not a bad thing at all it'd be nice to have a girl who was a best friend and not just a good friend. However, Hannah is pretty much the only person I tell anything to these days. I'm glad we became close, I needed it. (:



HUNTSVILLE WATCH OUT!
BE PREPAID TO BE TAKEN OVER.
HANNAH && NICOLE 2010 <33333

R E U N I T E D <3

JAY HURT && JUSTIN BIAS <3

Words can't even begin to describe how stoked I am. It has been a good three years since we have all been together. I think maybe since before the boys left for boot camp. The next few weeks are going to be crazy and I can't wait. Then reality comes back and Jay is off to Korea and Justin is off to Iraq. :( Enough about them leaving, I'd rather focus on the amazing time we will be having while they are both here. I love these boys more than words can say. It's good to have them back and especially at the same time!

< less than three 3

this couldn't happen at a better time. (:
I love my boyyysss. <3


Ediiiit:::
work really is in the way of all the sweet road trips I am trying to take. haha I hate have so many responsibilities sometimes...

Hearing from an old friend last night really made me happy. (: It's been five years since we have seen each other and so much has changed but we still have such great chemistry. I'm hoping everything works out and he comes to stay with me over Christmas break. (: If not, looks like I will be making a 10 hour car trip to Alabama next summer! MG<3

false pretense

WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?!

I'm tired of being everyones learning experience. The girl who taught them what not to do to a girl and how to treat their NEXT girlfriend. The girl who showed them it was okay to not be scared but it took so long for them to realize it they pushed her out until all of her feelings were gone. I'm just tired of always feeling like second best. WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?! That's all I want to know. I'm fed up with being that girl who shows you how things could be just to get let down. I WANT IT.

I'm starting to think something is wrong with me. Am I not good enough? Am I too awkward? Am I not attractive enough? I know I'm not perfect and I know I make mistakes but dude really?! This is like the fourth guy in a row to tell me how I showed them all this and they know now what mistakes not to make and blah blah blah well I'm happy I taught you something and you gained something from this "learning experience" but I want to be so much more than that. I really want to be so much more than that to someone, I hope one day I am.

It just sucks always feeling like that's all that I am. It's either I'm someones learning experience or they just want to hook up. I don't want either. I want passion and romance and stability. I want to feel needed and appreciated, like someone actually cares. ohh but don't we all? I guess I am just asking for too much. I feel like maybe my expectations are too high? I'm sorry but I know what I want and I refuse to lower my standards for some scum bag. I deserve better than that and I do know that much. My self esteem isn't in the dumps but I'm just over being THAT girl.

All the things that EVERY guy I've ever dated has told me they learned from me, I want that. I want it all. I feel deserving of it. At the least 10 percent of it. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want it to be my turn.

For once I want to give my all and actually get someone elses in return. I want someone to realize what I mean to them while they are with me, not after the fact that they have completely pushed me out. To make matters worse, I look for comfort in all the wrong people. I don't know why I continue to purposley go for douche bags....ohh but boy do I.

so again I will ask,

When's it going to be my turn?

I hope that when my turn does come around, if it does, that I don't panic and screw it up. I would hate to make someone feel the way I do about all this.




bee tee dubs:::
I know I sound so insecure all through out this but the truth is, I'm so far from it. Those of you who actually know me will know this.

bee tee dubs

B R A N D N E W was amazing. (:

It made me miss going to shows. I think I will start going more often.





I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist....
I've got a thing for the bad ones...

for the life of me

I will never understand why people lie about the weirdest things. I don't understand why it is so hard for someone to be real with me but whatever. Nothing i'm not used to. I'm slightly bothered but not really. It's just cool to know up front who someone really is and what they are really about.


on a good note: I'm all smiles. :D

It's been a while since I have felt "safe"

I've missed it.


I must say, for a first time it was pretty amazing and totally unforgetable.

snuggle up

this weather is nutz!

Personally I think work should have been closed today or they should at least let us leave a half a day or something. It's not safe to be driving in this mess.

Perfect day to snuggle up in bed...<3



[sn} I need more positive people in my life. I'm so over everyone and their rude comments. Go Fuck Yourself, jus sayin'



Just to clarify, i dont want or need a relationship. Just want someone to have fun with (:

::gasp::

It's been a while, that felt amazing. <3


"I just wanted to tell you that, I know we haven't known each other very long but I'm glad we met and became friends (: iloveyouuuuuu!"
-Hannah Nicole Nash

^^text messages like that make my day. (: It's weird how we met but I'm really glad we did. We connect in a almost creepy kind of way. These are the kind of friends I need in my life. (:

D G A F

The don't give a fuck attitude is back. Not sure how I feel about it really. It's ok in a sense but last night I relized that I can't be heartless all of the time. I seem to be good at it though.

People are clingy and I really don't like that. When I'm interested, IF I'm interested it will be known. I go for the things I want so just leave me alone otherwise please.

I'm always going to have a soft spot for you. Please forgive me if that causes you heartache. :(



Jealousy is a disease, get well soon! ;)

He isn't up in heaven, so Why treat him like he's dead?

I've never been that scared. It's taken a toll on my body. Not only do I have bruises from being grabbed but my entire body is sore from trying to stop what happened. It's still all very blurry to me. I just never thought something like this would happen.

I can't help but feel at fault for it all. After all, it is my fault...that's nothing new, it always is. This time I not only hurt myself or you but someone completely innocent. I feel horrible.

This is when we take time apart. A good amount of time. It sucks, a lot. I constantly think of you and want to talk to you but I just can't. It's not what's right at the moment. Please forgive me but I had to delete your phone number. I kept getting ready to call you and I just don't want to. well, I do but I can't. Not now. I really hope one day we can be at the least friends again.


As far as dating is concerned. I've never been more turned off in my life. I don't want anything to do with anyone of the opposite sex. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

It hurts....




"Just let me close my eyes.
I haven't been this scared in a while.
I'll keep not listening to you.
Even after all you put me through.
Just wake me up when this is over.
Because I can't stand to be like this forever."

im deeply

Hurt and I can't even begin to explain how I feel.

I just want to cry forever.

I'm pretty sure I'm done dating. I can't handle shit like this. I'm sorry.

Have some

Composure?


keeping cool in this sticky situation.



my oh my, what have you done Nicole?



It's the weekend again, let the trouble begin.

Just wanted to say....

T H A N K Y O U <3

thank you for making me realize everything I want. I never can decide but now I know. It feels great to be enlightened. (:

‎​You're like my kryptonite

I feel like that's what everyone says about me. I don't understand what's so great about me but I guess that's a good thing.

It's always good to hear from an old friend with positive vibes. (:

The way I loved you

by taylor swift

explains so much.


gaaaawd, I miss passion. I just don't know where it all went? stumped!

Friend status all day

Overall I had a really great birthday weekend. A few things could have went a little smoother but all in all, it was really good. I really do have the best friends ever. (:


WILDER comes home Friday && it's out! out! out! to celebrate our birthdays together. <3333
I can't wait to go out with twiiiin again. <3