Regret

Spring fling in summer breeze fall back to what you always knew you wanted.

I've never really regretted anything, until now. I try to block it out mentally but my subconscious gets the best of me. Now I have to live with the fact that I am now just like everyone else I know. I've never been "THAT" girl...well I never was, until this summer. This might sound dumb to some people but I was always really proud that I wasn't like all the rest. So much for that..

I have this reoccurring dream about it. It plays out in my head so vividly. I regret letting him get the best of me when I was at my worst. I regret falling for all the empty words, Even though I knew what was really going on the whole time. I regret being so dumb and making such poor decisions. Most of all I regret doing what I did and hurting who I did in the process. Out of everything I hurt myself the most though. Hearing "I've lost a lot of respect for you" is probably the worst part of it all. Those words hurt the most. Not the emotional roller coaster I was on, not the being used or taken advantage of but those words...

If I could take it all back I would, in a heartbeat. It's a blur really. I've tried so hard to block it out that I almost forget it happens until someone makes a comment in reference to it or mentions his name. I hate talking about it and I wont.

Throughout it all I hurt more people than I ever intended to. I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would, In a h e a r t b e a t