Monday, September 14, 2009

It's just so easy

for everyone to tell me to just drop it when they are on the outside of the situation. Not saying that the fact that he could die tomorrow makes me want to keep myself in this shitty situation but it does effect the way I think about things. I mean, I really just think time and space would do us good but I'm so afraid to put space between us. If anything were to happen during that time period...I just, I would hate myself for it every day for the rest of my life. I would never forgive myself. It's just hard to see things clearly when there is so much weighing down on me. To think, the best advice anyone has given me thus far was from the one person who is the cause of most of these problems. Well, aside from myself that is...

Eventually, I will have a better perspective on things. Until then, I guess I just have to shut everyone else who comes along out of my life.





This weekend was a complete mess. I'm just glad I got to spend time with the people I did. It's nice having other people to talk to every now and then. Not to mention that laying in the driveway with courtney and Brittany smoking hookah was exactly what I needed yesterday. I love those girls. (:

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