I'm not perfect

STOP EXPECTING ME TO BE

I just don't understand why my parents treat me like I'm 12 and have no idea what I am talking about. They should have listened to me five years ago when all this bullshit started. They would have saved a lot of time, money, heartache and embarrassment. I've observed a lot over the years with this whole situation and really, I know what I am talking about. I think I know the best out of all of us how this will play out. It's always the same shit because they just keep fueling the fire. I don't know, I guess because I am on 20 they feel like I don't. It's completely pointless to argue my case because no matter how right I am, they refuse to listen. It's just a waste of breath on my end and time on theirs.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever take me seriously. Lately I feel like my thoughts and opinions just don't matter to anyone.

I'm done trying to hold up this "perfect image". It's not even for me, it's for them. It's ridiculous the amount of pressure they put on me. This so called "perfect image" my mom tries to maintain has slowly torn my family apart and is still continuing to do so. I'm disgusted to say the least, in all honesty. You have to learn to accept the flaws, learn from them and move on. Instead you live your life with all this hate built up because you just can't let go of the past or accept it and move on with it. Isn't that what love is about? Accepting someone for who they are, flaws included? You can't just pretend like nothing happened and that nothing has changed. I have questions and I want answers and I don't care how much you cry over it. IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME. Then again, nothing ever was fair to me in this family.

You can't buy my affection. Money doesn't mean shit to me. I have a lot built up and you wont give me the time of day to tell you how I feel and what I really think of you. I guess that's because you and I both know you can't handle it. The harsh reality of what the past 21 years have meant to me.

I'm not a kid, I'm not naive, I'm not mislead, I'm not unaware. I probably know more than they do when all is said and done. In the end they always realize I'm right. They wont admit it, but they know. Sucks knowing you should take advice from your kid doesn't it? I could save you the trouble but you're too busy being shoved up your own ass to realize what I have to offer. Sucks for you because I no longer give a shit.

someday someone will realize that I have a lot to offer. Maybe once I get myself together it will all fall in place, with or without you. I can do this without you. I am the way I am for a reason, no thanks to you I am improving myself.

I'm realizing a lot about my life recently. It's scary to know that this so called "family" thing most people Cherish and want to have isn't exactly all it's cracked up to be. Not mine at least.


It's time to get off your high horse. You DON'T deserve to be there.